In a world where love and money silently shape our destinies, I found myself at the crossroads of heartbreak and financial turmoil, desperately seeking answers to life's most complex riddles. I have constantly been thinking about two facets of life - money and love. Unfortunately, these were the exact two things that Asian kids were forbidden to talk about. Yet, when I look at my own life and look back at it from this spot, I feel these are not even luxuries; these are mere necessities that you can't live without.
In today’s heartfelt blog, I open up my heart to talk about these two areas in my life that I continue to struggle with. It took me a whole lot of courage to face my demons and to acknowledge that I am failing in certain areas of my life despite efforts, and efforts probably in the wrong direction. Nevertheless, I am extremely grateful for all the bounties in my life - God, family, friends, a healthy mind, body, and soul. This is not to complain in any sense but to get better. This is not to regret or suffer in pain but to make progress in the right direction. This is not to conform to my current state but to gather the courage to face the 'Truth', as facing the truth always sets you free.
And a relaxed mindset is indispensable to set on the path of improvement. Before I even begin to deliberate about the areas I have not fared above C’s, I want to acknowledge that I have been immensely blessed to have straight A’s in many areas - health, fitness, spirituality, family, friends, social life, academics, career, and above all, peaceful sleep at night. However, I have reset my mind and reframed my heart to be able to claim it all because we all deserve all the good things in life. It is important to ask, to seek, and to knock on the door.
The Love Struggle ❤️
With that context in mind, let's turn our attention to my experiences in the realm of love. A self-analysis sent chills down my spine when I realized that I had struggled in this area of my life all along. I have had spurts of self-doubt, at times; I have concluded that I am a difficult person to be with. However, the people I live with, my family, and friends keep me sane and affirm through their actions more than words that I am definitely not a finicky person. Well, maybe then, I am a high-maintenance person or somebody not willing to compromise on her standards. I figured out that I am a pretty sorted person, who is calm and easy.
Interestingly, I met some amazing and equally not-so-amazing people on my journey to pursue love and company. Some people I met on this journey became great friends, people I have worked with, and people I socialize with, but surprisingly never made a romantic connection, and somehow could never go beyond the magic number 3 when it came to meetings in that direction.
Something that I read very recently hit me hard, “Love is contingent, unlike the fairytale and novel stories of love.” Love is not an emotion; it is an action that requires work and dedication. It requires one to drop down their egos and accept the other person fully. I have read multiple blogs in my twenties that spoke about love hacks; however, it is simple and boils down to one thing that, again, I read recently, “If we think we are not worthy of love, we will subconsciously deny it.” Yes, I have been doing this all the while; well, no more.
Woefully, despite putting actions and efforts, I have not allowed love to reach me, in its purest form, which I hope will now find its way with the right shift in my mindset.
The Money Maze 💰
Having explored my love life, let's shift our focus to the equally challenging terrain of financial matters. Growing up as a banker's daughter, I felt my father would handle the money affairs. I always felt somehow it was selfish and materialistic to think about money. Sadly, regardless of working hard ever since I graduated, I never made a conscious effort to grow my financial literacy. This lethargy led me to situations where I was close to hand-to-mouth (I was never a spendthrift, but I love decent things). I made career decisions that filled my intellectual appetite but constantly left my bank balance starving.
I never made saving a regular habit, but somehow managed gracefully till I landed up in Delhi NCR where working in academics could only pay your bills, where unplanned delays in pay would leave you wondering for days. In the last four years, I have faced a financial crisis and have landed myself in a bad state. I would complain, I would protest, but nothing changed until and unless I decided to change.
I have not made a lot of advancement; nevertheless, I can say that with a shift in my mindset, I am beginning to balance my intellectual pursuits with financial health. I have realized that having one stream of income or a primary job is no longer the norm. Side hustles, upskilling, and grabbing new opportunities are the course of the time. Networking, learning, and implementing are what is required if you are a single woman making ends meet in tier-1 cities.
Acing Love-Money Challenges 🚀
Having shared my experiences, let's move on to discuss practical ways to conquer the dual challenges of not just love and money, but any area that you might be struggling with-relationships, health, finances, parenting, and career.
I am glad that these events occurred in my life and shook me out of my complacency, both in my love and money life. These are the two areas where an internal reset will surely reap results in the near future. I want to build my own story; I know that each one of us is capable and deserves the best in each area of our lives. But, being true to yourself, admitting that you have issue areas in your life, and recognizing that you have failed in certain areas only and only because of your own neglect is the first step in this direction.
We are who we have wanted to become; we are in places where we all have always wanted to be. I have figured out my troubled relationship with both love and money. Since I have acknowledged it all, I am already on my path to overcoming all the obstacles in my path.
These 3 practices are helping me already: 💪
1. Mindset Shift: Making a conscious decision with a positive mindset and having realistic goals is the right approach to improving any area of your life that you are struggling with. Also, understanding where you are in the current situation allows you to see the work required to gauge how far you need to go. Having a positive mindset and being consistent is crucial.
2. Using your superpower habits: Analyzing your life and looking at the areas where you have successfully achieved what you aimed for is a great way to use them and apply them to areas you are struggling with. It could be your habit of sticking to routines or your perseverance.
3. The will to win: You cannot believe that you cannot have it all and still have it all. So if you want to have a successful and balanced life, you must put in the right amount of work in the right direction to have it all.
In conclusion, it's clear that acknowledging our struggles is the first step toward achieving a balanced and fulfilling life. What is it that you are lagging behind in? Figure it out and make a conscious decision to break it down into an achievable goal.
“Kabhi kisi ko mukammal jahan nahin milta, kahin zameen to kahin aasman nahin milta,” the famous and beautiful Urdu Ghazal has been taken way too seriously by the Asian hearts.
The truth is simpler, what you seek is seeking you; seek all, and you will get it all.
Do not shy away from telling areas of your life that need intensive and immediate care in the comment section below, or else, do so, at least in your hearts.
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